American Horror Story is back and doing what it does the best , juggling 18 dissimilar plots whilst balancing atop the bosom of a raw nun buoy . The show went full - tilt banana last night , and we welcome the paying back to crazytown . In just one episode , we saw Sister Jude ’s backstory , a demon , a whole lotta bare ass … and we learned what a “ mossy banking company ” was . Proceed on if you want to have the granger from Babe forever ruin in your judgement .
mollycoddler ahead …
First up , Briarcliff ’s sustain a new patient . A farmboy who has been possessed . At first I was n’t all that open to yet another dispossession drive , since we ’ve take in this one billion clock time . But the actor they wander to scream and hiss at Sister Judy and friends ( Devon Graye ) was pretty damn awesome ( and a trivial blistering , when he was all vein out ) . There ’s one finical setting where the hired exorcist shows up in a wheelchair , and Jed ( the possessed farmer boy ) turns to the old human being and yells , “ And the lord articulate to the cripple , take up thy bed and flyyyyyyeeeeee ” send the old fart into the wall . It was jolly excellent .
But Jed was rightfully there not to cause chills , but to begin revealing the past of Briarcliff ’s villainous stave , specifically Sister Jude ’s . So what did we con about our favorite cane - happy nun ? She used to be a bit of a lush . While tending to Jed , the daimon starts calling her a cocotte ( you ’ve had 53 dicks in your mouth or something — recall , this is AHS ) . Then Sister Jude has a flashback to her days as a drunk singer , strike on military men and driving intoxicated . Unfortunately for Jude , one night out she whop a slight girlfriend with her railroad car . And now that girl is beat . sexual urge and booze putting to death . Now we acknowledge what cause Jude to conceal behind the holy habit .
Another backstory that was hinted at was Zachary Quinto ’s — hey , Zach ! The endearingly bespectacled role player connect AHS this instalment as the young , disapproving doctor for Briarcliff , named Dr. Oliver Thredson . At first , Oliver is none too proud of at the rampant maltreatment happening at Sister ’s Jude ’s asylum . But after Jed shows up and take up throwing people around with his judgement , he starts to lose his mettle . Anyone else hitch Jed revealing Oliver ’s backstory as some form of abandoned baby ? No doubt there ’s more where that came from . Five sawhorse says he ’s Sister Jude ’s unwanted tiddler .
Meanwhile poor Lana the reporter encephalon gets zap by Jude , and creepy sometime Doctor Arden . give thanks good , all attempts to dull the creative thinker of Lana are failing , as her electroshock therapy only strengthen her resolve to get the hell out of there . Lana makes a raw deal with Grace — if Grace can get her out , she will show her the hole-and-corner tunnel entrance so they can break loose . Naturally this is too easy of a plan for AHS , so gracility throws down that they have to take onetime bloody - facial expression Kit as well , or no deal . Cut to a prison open frame with Lana , Kit , and Grace all eyeball the exit . But in a kind of amazing number of events , Lana start up screaming that Kit is trying to escape . It ’s undecomposed to see that she ’s not willing to free a “ murderer of woman ” in parliamentary law to save her hide . Sure , certain Kit did n’t do it , because he looks like what would bechance if a puppy and a bunny had a baby — but still . Good for you , Lana .
Of naturally , this whole showdown ends in Sister ’s Jude ’s office . Pants down , cane up . Here ’s a picture . You ’re welcome , gaga pack of Evan Peters devotee who like to email me slow gifs of Kit in the exhibitioner ( give thanks you by the way ) .
And last , but sure not least , James Cromwell unwrap Dr. Arden ’s backstory , which made me slam a doorway into my genitalia . YIKES YIKES YIKES YIKES YIKES . Look , I ’m not against old people having crazy , hazardous , weird sex . I used to make for at an sometime folks ’ home plate , part of my chore was sometimes escort horny senior back and forth from their crazy sexcapes . This is n’t ageism , this is the fact that Cromwell is a very good actor and I can never take in Babe again . Feeling the sometime pant - raising itch fawn up on him , Dr. Arden invites a overnice young sporting lady to his habitation . There , he dress down her for using crass linguistic communication and not enjoying his fine wine . Things are already not looking good for this lady . Later on , he makes her put on Sister Eunice ’s uniform . Ahhh , looks like Arden has a matter for Eunice ( which we kind of already know , as too soon on , he basically screamed a candy apple into her oral cavity like some unknown fucking hungry hobo camp cat with confect apples ) . impress on . The prostitute finds some earnestly disturbing images in Arden ’s family , and he flips . He hold off his pants and reveals those really long boxers that grandpas wear . He grabs his fork , and at some point , he orders her to show him her “ mossy bank . ” It ’s all a blur because right after he catch his crotch I inter my head in the couch cushions and jump screaming . It was terrifying .
But it was also kind of awesome . AHS , you creepy old humans , it ’s good to have you back .
What are we look forward to next hebdomad ? Well it look like Sister Mary Eunice is possess by the devil that fled the now - dead Jed . So nail to that .
And hopefully someone will explain why meter - traveling Bloody Face was in Lana ’s girlfriend ’s house . Is Lana really Bloody Face ?
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