It ’s a high-pitched purity to be called someone ’s best friend — just look at the agency characters in sitcoms likeFriendsandHow I Met Your Motherargue over which of the gang is their best friend . But the criteria for someone fit the function of " BFF " is knockout to set .
Until now , that is , as a researcher from the University of Kansas think he has cracked the code .
In a new report published in Marchin the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , professor of Communication Studies Jeffrey Hall delimit how long it takes to make a friend , and how long it takes for hoi polloi to typically make their way through the different stages of friendly relationship . In his previous inquiry , he found a somebody ’s wit is capable of handle about 150 friendship at once .
Hall and his colleague developed an on-line tool to assess how close people were to their friend . In the first part of the written report , they analyzed 355 survey responses from adult who had moved within the last six month and were looking for new friends .
They were asked to opine of someone they had met since moving , and how their friendship had develop . They had to divulge how close they were and how many hours they spent together , as well as where they would rate the relationship in one of four categories : acquaintance , casual friend , acquaintance , or tightlipped Quaker .
Through this , the investigator could reckon the number of hr where people can level up to different stages of friendship .
In the 2nd part , 112 KU newcomer students were asked about two people they had suffer since set about school two workweek previously . The researchers followed up after four and seven weeks to see what friendship achievements had been unlocked .
solvent show it takes about 40 to 60 hr to form a casual friendly relationship , 80 to 100 hours to be upgraded to being a friend , and about 200 hours to become " good friends . "
" We have to put that time in,“Hall said in a statement . " You ca n’t bust your fingers and make a friend . keep close relationships is the most important work we do in our lives — most people on their deathbed concur . "
Young people determine it particularly gentle to make really undecomposed friends , Hall said . In other tidings , they shine for citizenry intemperately .
" When people transition between stage , they ’ll double up or treble the amount of time they expend with that other person in three week ' time , " he said . " I found freshmen who spent one - third of all wake hours in a calendar month with one good friend . "
You ca n’t force someone to be Friend with you , and of class , no relationship can be water down to numbers alone . But if you want to be best friend with someone , the best way of doing it is to drop more time with them .
" Make it a precedency to spend time with potential friends , " said Hall . " If you are concerned in a friendship , change over up the context . If you work together , go to dejeuner or out for a beverage . These thing signal to people that you are concerned in being friend with them . "
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