Yesterday , The Onion begantweeting gunfire in the Capitol . The premise was that Congress consume America ’s children hostage . Oh , cruel irony , you are screaming ! Except not everyone know it was a joke . And nowthe Capitol police are look into . Uh - oh .
appear , I ’m a grownup rooter of The Onion . And I ’m an even bigger sports fan of lying on Twitter . Or at least , satire and jest on Twitter . But The Onion fucked up . And it know up because it lie wrong . Yeah . There is a correct way , and a wrong way to consist on Twitter . At least if you ’re trying to make a stop that will make hoi polloi call up , or laugh , or react in any way other than with fear and anger .
This should go without say , but let ’s put it out there first : The thing you show on Twitter ( or Facebook ) ought to be take with a few gallon of kosher salt . It is essentially the public square , where you pick up voices as you roam through . And for as much credit entry as it gets as a reporting dick , Twitter has always been full of horseshit . And there ’s nothing ill-timed with that !
For example , see this 2006 video of Jack Dorsey express off some of Twitter ’s features . Just before the 16 minute mark , Dorsey establish off Twitter ’s top - ranked tweet . Number 4 on that list ? It’sthis tweetfrom my booster Mike Monteiro , who lay claim to have just been fool . It set off a minor panic among his friends , but most citizenry immediately recognized that Mike was plausibly lying . I intend , nobody , after find shoot , is going to first update their Twitter condition . And besides , Mike is an inveterate liar . Hell , Mike is still consist on Twitter .
I have my own account of lying on Twitter . In 2008 ( andagain in 2009 , semi - professionally ) I fake - tweeted my way through Austin , incubate SxSW as if I was there , although I actually never leave the comfort of my foggy abode in San Francisco . It was a great deal of playfulness ! And hopefully , made some variety of pointabout the vacuousness of that whole dweeb - name - dropping scene . But it also confused a lot of the great unwashed . My mom , for one . But also plenty of attendees , who found it just credible enough to bite . Yeah , I was simulate a 20 - something self-important blowhard , but very many people thought that I really was that guy . I got call a douchebag again and again , which made my goddamn muffin .
Another model was the brainy @BPGlobalPR from last summertime . Before he was unmasked , Josh Simpson took over the net with his tweets parodying the clumsy answer of BP ’s communications teamfollowing the crude oil spill last summertime . It was hilarious . All the moreso because so many hoi polloi wanted to believe it really was BP .
In short , all of these small Twitter stunts confused a lot of people , but were also all obviously jokes . And that ’s what made them funny . That auroa of believability off - put by common sense is the key to a good lie on Twitter . You have to make people guess it might be literal , while still let them in on the joke .
And then there ’s the Onion . The Onion and The Daily Show are our two greatest modern engines of sarcasm . I ’m not sure that The Onion has ever made a all actual assertion on Twitter . When The onion plant start squeeze yesterday about gunshot in the Capitol Building , it was obviously a joke , right ? So what was the problem ? Why did the great unwashed get so pissed ?
Easy . The Onion started on the incorrect foot . That first tweet show “ break : Witnesses reporting screams and gunfire hear inside Capitol building . ” That did n’t telegraph anything about the satiric opinion of Congress holding kids hostage . alternatively , most citizenry probably thought that Congress itself was under blast . And that was a huge roll in the hay up . Congress is ape - fuckingly unpopular , but nobody want another home tragedy .
The Onion broke the rampart . It scar hoi polloi . It reminded them of recent and horrible tragedies . It was Gaby Giffords and Anders Breivak and even 9 - 11 all over again . It was making a jest about that frightful place nobody wants to go to , ever again .
funniness has to do that from time to time . But in this instance , The Onion fell monotone . That ’s for the most part because Twitter was the wrong venue . Twitter is a great locus for irony . But it ’s all quick strike , and that Congressional satire needed frame-up ; it require room to breathe .
Instead , it just took everyone ’s breather aside .
User Manualis Gizmodo ’s usher to etiquette . It appears as if by magic trick every Friday .
you may keep up with Mat Honan , the author of this post , onTwitter , Facebook , orGoogle+ .
Scott White is an illustrator based in Herndon , Virginia . you’re able to see his workhereand pursue him onTumblr , FacebookandTwitter .
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